Your First Couples Counselling Session: What to Expect

Tina Yazdanfar

1 day ago

2 min read

It is okay to feel nervous about your first couples counselling session. You may wonder what to say or whether you and your partner will see things the same way. You do not need to have everything figured out before you begin.

Think about what you would like to change

Take a few minutes to think about what would help your relationship. Would you like to argue less, feel closer, or find more time for each other? Your answers may be different from your partner’s. You can bring both views to the session.

Getting to know you both

The first session gives your counsellor a chance to learn about your relationship. You may talk about what brought you in, what feels difficult, and what you value about each other. Your counsellor can help you choose goals and talk about the next steps. Together, you can check how things are going as the work continues.

Ask questions

You are welcome to ask how your counsellor works. For example: “How do you help both of us feel heard?” “How do we choose what to work on first?” “How do you help us talk about difficult things at a pace we can manage?” These questions can help you decide whether the approach feels right for you.

Understand how your information is handled

Your counsellor will explain how your information is kept private, the limits to that privacy, and how information is handled during couples counselling. Both partners should understand what to expect. You can ask for anything that is unclear to be explained.

Bring one example

It can help to think of a recent moment you would like to handle differently. Explain what happened and how you felt, and give your partner time to share their view too. You do not need to cover your whole relationship in one session. If it helps, bring a few notes.

What if one of you is unsure?

A first phone consultation is a chance to ask questions before deciding about ongoing sessions. If your partner does not want to attend, you can still ask about individual counselling to help you understand your feelings, needs, and choices.

Getting started with Higher Step

Higher Step Family Services offers couples and marriage counselling in Langley and Coquitlam, and online across BC. Book a free 15-minute phone consultation to ask about our approach and find out whether we may be a good fit for you.